Have you ever heard of kintsugi?
According to the article Kintsugi: the art of precious scars
Kintsugi: the art of precious scars
Kintsugi: the art of precious scars
Kintsugi: the art of precious scars
Kintsugi: the art of precious scars
"This traditional Japanese art uses a precious metal – liquid gold, liquid silver or lacquer dusted with powdered gold – to bring together the pieces of a broken pottery item and at the same time enhance the breaks. Every repaired piece is unique, because of the randomness with which ceramics shatters and the irregular patterns formed that are enhanced with the use of metals."
From the same article
I was so close with my sister, as close as twins could be without being twins. I never in a million years EVER envisioned growing up and growing old without her.
But God had His plan.
So on the worst, worst day of my entire life, I shattered into a million pieces. Just like the bowl above....only I felt like my pieces were as small as a grain of sand. You are FOREVER changed in a split second, whether you know it's coming or are slapped in the face unexpectedly. You really can't, and never will, go back to ever being close to the same person you were.
You.....are.....broken......
And you deserve to be because the worst thing you could ever imagine has happened. Don't let someone make you feel like you shouldn't be broken. (Usually those are the people who don't truly know what being broken is.)
So, how do you gather up millions of pieces of grains of sand to begin to repair them like they do with kintsugi?
The thing is...you don't really know; until, one day you do.
Over the past 1,234 days (real number of days I've lived without my sister- also don't judge me for knowing the number; we all grieve in different ways), I've slowly seen my grains of sand begin to be repaired like a bowl using kintsugi.
You don't realize it at first, but all the love, prayers, hugs, cards, gifts, texts, calls, dinners, or sitting in silence that you receive from your family, friends, coworkers, and people you haven't seen or heard from in forever slowly start to pick up the broken pieces you can't seem to find.
Then, because you become very hyper aware of others who become broken from the tragedies of life, the gold or silver liquid slowly starts piecing you together as you become an empathetic guide to those who are on the same side of brokenness as you.
But you don't realize it just yet.
You spend 1,232 days seeing friends and family lose loved ones. You go and love on them because you know how much it meant and helped you when you first shattered. You cry because your heart is changed and you can't help that tears leak out of your eyes, like liquid gold and silver, without you realizing it. You check on them and are "there for them" because you know how much it helps them pick up those grains of sand.
In those 1,232 days, you don't realize that your pieces have been gathered, the liquid gold or silver has been placed, and you are suddenly pieced together, but this time with a beautiful scar.
But on day 1,233, a friend experiences the same, tragic, sudden loss that you did. You send them love and prayers because you know the brokenness (you still feel broken sometimes...ok, a lot) and you want to take that brokenness away because no one should have to feel that. Except this time, they know and acknowledge that you above all know what they are truly feeling, experiencing, and living in that exact moment.....and forever. You are now connected and kindred spirits from here to eternity.
And you think about that statement.... "you above all know"
And you slowly reflect on the past 1,233 days. All the kind words people have said about how strong you are (even though you don't feel it)...how inspiring you are (even though you don't see it)....how understanding you are (even though you wish the circumstances were different for us all).
And you begin to see that people say these things because you've started to reach kintsugi, even though you never realized it. Your pieces have been gathered, the liquid gold or silver has been placed, the pieces are connecting again. You are not whole......you never can be again, but now instead of being completely broken, you are "unique" with your beautiful scar.
A beautiful scar you wish you didn't have, but a scar you will wear forever. A beautiful scar that is filled with the great memories you have of life before your tragedy, memories of the love you received during your darkest days when you were shattered all over the place, memories that you will continue to make in your loved one's honor, and memories you haven't even made yet.
In one of the articles I read about kintsugi they quoted Rumi as saying “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
When I think of this quote, it reminds me of Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."
Our wounds become those beautiful scars we live with the rest of our earthly lives because of the light others shine upon us during our brokenness and the light we are able to shine upon others because of the empathy we are left with from being broken.
We become a "beautiful, thriving masterpiece", just like the art of kintsugi.
Just like God planned.
